they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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