Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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