oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
