I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
