my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
