Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
