better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I think i got beer on your cat.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
