Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
