I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
