Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
