i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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