i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
