There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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