we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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