You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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