He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize