tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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