This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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