You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
