I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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