I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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