she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
