Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
