her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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