hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
