fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
