Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
