Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
