U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
