This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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