Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
