And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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