we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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