Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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