yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
