She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Two words: blizzard sex
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
