I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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