Don't you send me to vm
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
