I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
