Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Farmville is her only friend.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
