There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
