told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
