This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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