i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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