I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
