it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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