people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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