Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
