Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
