whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
