So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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